my love life is still being written

most of us are familiar with the love formula presented in fairy tales. we grew up immersed in the culture of "girl in distress is rescued by handsome boy wonder who whisks her away from her problems to a beautiful castle where she is free to live happily ever after" that fairy tales promote. if i took a survey right now, i'm sure no one would describe their love story in quite those terms. actually, i doubt anyone's story would be even remotely close to the fairy tale.

my own personal love story has been disastrous!  i haven't fallen in and out of love more times than i can count. i haven't had my heart broken over and over again. i haven't had a parade of men in and out of my life. to the contrary, i've only loved two men, rarely dated in my adult life and only truly been heartbroken once. but it is the lack of a love life that leads me to label the whole thing disastrous. how many adult women do you know have dated so little? don't answer that. it might be more embarrassing for me than i want to acknowledge!

but i'm not completely discouraged by the state of my love life. i mean, yeah, i would prefer to have a social calendar that includes date nights and romantic dinners as well as late night movies and lots of tv watching and video game marathons, but it's not all gloom and doom. i've come to the conclusion that despite what things look like on a day to day level, my love story is still being written.

i'd love for it to skip to the juicy parts but i am nevertheless happy that it is still being crafted each day. i don't want a fairy tale ending. i just want to be loved by the man i love, work each day to protect and grow that love, raise a healthy and happy family together and be that old couple you see walking down the street holding hands. i guess that is kind of fairy tale-ish. we're led to believe that kind of love doesn't happen anymore. i'm banking that it does and when my love story is complete, you'll see it first hand!

teach me how to love

to say that love is hard is an understatement. it's a roller coaster of a ride that takes you to depth defying heights and gutter lows. it tests your resistance and resilience. it places you in positions that require a constant fight or flight reflex on a regular basis. love is work! and no wonder when so many of us never learned how to love.

we were never taught the importance of preferring someone over ourselves. we didn't learn to listen first and ask questions later. we weren't instructed in the art of being quick to forgive and repair what's broken. our lessons in love have fallen far short of the true compassion that is necessary for a relationship to be successful.

i realize i am guilty of not really knowing how to love. i know how to fall in love but i need to learn how to stay in love. because when stuff gets hard, and it will, the gushy stuff won't be enough. there will be days when the person i say i do to is the last person i want to see. how do you stay in love on those days? how do you push through the hard stuff to make sure your love lasts?

i don't think anyone wakes up saying they want to get divorced and yet we find it common place in our society. i don't want to be part of the brokenness. i want to be an example for the success of love. i want my love story to be forever. so, i'm taking time in my singleness to learn how to love.

i'm learning how to forgive and walk in compassion and exercise patience and pick my battles and chose peace over fighting.

i wonder how many others need to take up the walk. how many singles are interested in being taught how to love?