focus on what's important

i have strong opinions about what my life should look like from year to year. it has been hard at times to swollen the bitter pill of reality when things don't quite measure up to the vision in my head. when i feel like i've fallen short, i have a hard to focusing on the things that are truly important. thankfully, God reminded me to get back to business.

if you read my sporadic posts (i make no apologies for not posting regularly) you know i've talked opening about finding and falling in love. i've also talked about it not going quite as planned and picking up the pieces and moving on. i haven't talked much about reconciling the disappointment of not hitting the mile marker that i set with the reality that most things in life can't be planned.

i'm a work in progress but i am beginning to accept that not only is life messy, it's unpredictable and requires understanding, flexibility and ingenuity to survive. and survival looks different for each of us. some of us just want to keep our heads above water. some of us want to float in the waves. some of us want to soar above it all. me? i just want to continue to intentionally live life like it matters - i matter, my actions matter, my legacy matters.

that requires me to focus on what's important. for me, loving God's people is important. i hate to see people hurting and it blesses my heart to be able to help those around me in need. i don't have to know you, i just have to know God and accept that His greatest commandments were to love and serve Him and love and serve His people. if i can keep myself focused on that reality, i can stop comparing myself to others and the fantasy of what i always expected my life to be like at this stage.

i'm very happy with who i am and where i am but i can't deny that i fully expected to be married with children by now. i'm not even close. but life so far has been a wild ride that i would not change. i've loved, lost, laughed, lounged, listened and longed for things. but at the end of the day i've lived. i don't ever want to stop living. and part of the process is to focus on what's important.