when you relocate as an adult you are faced with the task of recreating a network in your new location. it's not easy. the older you get the harder it is to make friends. i moved to seattle with only one friend living here. i used my online skills to create a network through linkedin of other alumni in the area. it proved to be successful as i met a really dear friend that way. but mostly, it's been trial and error. and trust me, there was an error.
it wasn't totally their fault as they didn't know me and had no idea the high value and standards i place on friendship. the closer we got the more i realized we weren't on the same page. no harm no fowl. we parted ways and moved on with our lives. i met new people and developed a new circle. it has been God send because at the end of the day, when the stuff hits the fan, i believe there are at least a few ladies who would have my back. and that's really all any of us can ask for.
the thing is that friendship has growing pains and my new friends don't know me the way my old friends do. they don't get my humor all the time, or understand my facial expressions or gestures when words can't find their way to my lips. sometimes we don't communicate well and words are misunderstood and feelings get hurt. it can be exhausting when you're used to people just getting you. but then you have to remember that you went through the same thing with your old friends and it took some time for you to settle into the comfortable familiarity that warms your heart and puts a smile on your face just thinking about them.
i'm glad i met the ladies and gentlemen who have entered my life at this juncture but it would be nice to feel like they actually get me. many times i feel like i'm lost on them. i get blank stares or shrugged shoulders or in some instances dismissed. as a sensitive person it sucks. but i know we all have a tendency to be self-absorbed and we have to accept it as a fact of life. i will just be glad when this space in time passes.
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