oh what a night ... or should i say what a morning? that dream was crazy. crazy freaky and it had me all shaken this morning. it wasn't a nightmare or anything. mostly it was a reflection of the things going on in my head. my concerns about communication between me and my family, me and my friends, me and my professional contacts, me and god. it's a reflection of my concerns about the status of things in my life - my career, my family, my love life, my relationships. it is a reflection of my vulnerability. i don't want to admit how scared i feel some days. i don't want to talk about how i'm terrified that i could lose my sister to cancer. i don't want to talk about how sometimes i wonder if love will ever find me. i don't want to talk about the possibilities that things won't turn out the way i hoped. those are the things that weigh on me and my dream made them all real.
what do you do when you're faced with the reality of your emotional state? i know i have to confront it. i know i have to own it. i know i have to make it submit to what i believe, what i value and what i expect. it's time to woman up and do what needs to be done. and it's time to accept that i'm not in control but the one who is has my best interest at heart. he has a plan and a purpose and if i stay in communion with him, i'll know what he's saying.
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