what a crazy 24 hours. i learned that my sister circle isn't very sisterly. i got sold out by one for a social life and the other, i honestly have no idea what ails her. things where fine and then all of a sudden i noticed that they weren't. and when i asked about it i was pretty much dismissed. and now all these months later, i find out that my closet friend here knew something was wrong and decided to do nothing. switzlerland's choice to be neutral didn't make them honorable, it made them cowards. to stand by and allow someone to intentionally hurt your friend and not say anything makes you just as guilty. and you knew it was wrong because you felt bad about lying about it. how am i supposed to trust you now? how am i supposed to move on like everything is okay between us when you betrayed me? and for what? so you can get invited to social events? it should grieve you that their are broken relationships in the circle. especially when it starts affecting the relationships of other people in the circle. what a complete lack of respect, loyalty and honesty.
i said i was going to seek reconciliation. i said i was going to walk in love but right now all i want to do is walk away. i certainly can't look at you the same. and really, there is nothing we have to discuss if you can't admit to wrong doing. sigh. god this will take a miracle from you. i know you can do what seems impossible to us so i'm asking for your wisdom on how to proceed. right now i have no desire to continue a relationship. and i know that can't be your will. so i'm asking you to help me make the right decision. help me to be the friend you called me to be despite how i've been treated by people i considered to be my friend.
you blessed me with some truly amazing sisters back in 97 and i'm so glad i have them to lean on. i'm glad i have them to cover me in prayer so i do what's right and not what feels good. and i'm glad they understand the virtues of friendship and place it in the same regard that i do.
i feel like a lot of things are about to change for me. i already knew the transition was taking place but to see how things unfold, i honestly didn't think it would end up like this. and i don't really understand what is to come. and sadly, i'll be facing that in seattle without the people i truly considered to be my friends. how's that for a fraked up way to start your week?
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