sometimes you just have to cut the strings that are attached to you and pulling you in all kinds of directions and break free. that's what i realized today. i have too many strings attached to me forcing me to dance and move on command. i'm not a puppet and i have to stop letting people treat me like one. i have feelings. and maybe i have been placing other people's feelings ahead of my own. it is truly my desire to not hurt others and i believe we're called to walk in love that says we are to prefer others before ourselves. well, at least when it comes to a spouse! but i guess i've placed that same standard on all relationships and that's not wise.
what i want is to be true to who i am and be around people who accept and love that about me. because i seek relationships with those who are also authentic. somehow i've fallen into the trap of trying to please people and that's no bueno! so with god as my compass, i'm seeking to restore balance to things. i'm planning to move onward and upward with wisdom and understanding. and i do want to say the right thing when i do speak. so for now i'm just going to be silent. i had a dream that every time i tried to speak i was cut off. not sure what that means just yet, so again, i'll say nothing. just cutting the strings and as the kids say, pleasing god and doing me.
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