proceed with caution

last night i went to see lauryn hill with a few of my seattle peeps and boy was our expectation high. we are all lauryn fans and were happy to spend the night bonding over our favorite tunes. the problem is it didn't quite turn out that way. in fact, it was kind of a nightmare. lauryn kept us waiting so long that out of our group seven people, only two lasted the night to actually see her take stage! disaster!

it was so unprofessional and showed a total disregard for her fans and their pocket books. thankfully, we were blessed with our tickets but still. it got me to thinking about how easy it is to be let down when you have expectations for people. i was so anticipating this concert. i mean, i was ready for miseducation and mtv unplugged as well as fugee lauryn. whatever she was bringing, i was buying. until i realized she might not even appear on stage. it was crazy!

when we expect things from people, it is easy to be let down and disappointed. sure, it is normal and logical to expect a good performance from someone when you're paying good money to see them, but at the end of the day they are still people and people can always disappoint.

i was talking to my friend today about expectations. i've been completing a cleansing process to prepare me for my future husband. it's been mostly good but i'm near the end and growing weary of the finish line. i realize it's right around the bend but it feels so far away. anyway, we were discussing my expectations for my love life once i cross the finish line. my friend said i should go forward with no expectations. i get what she's saying but i don't live life without expectation. the truth is i fully expect to be ready to enter a relationship and i'm expecting that to happen. to not expect that makes the process seem pointless. but i recognize that i don't have the answers. i have no idea how that relationship will come about or with whom. but i expect that it will. so, to balance out my expectation with my friend's desire that i proceed with no expectation, i decided i'd proceed with caution. i won't put conditions on god. i'll allow him to be god and pray that in my submission, i'm not signing up for another lengthy waiting period. i'm definitely weary of waiting for love.

it doesn't seem too much to ask. i want to be loved. i want to have someone to love. and i want to start a family. so, i'm proceeding with caution toward the finish line, but proceeding nonetheless.