god has smiled on me

one day my friend summer just busted out singing that song god has smiled on me and couldn't stop. it was cute and funny to us but so real to her. something in her life told her that god smiled on her. she had found favor in his sight. i find myself - at this very moment - understanding. completely. i'm singing it on the inside and smiling on the outside.

last week i was reminded of the david's words, what is man that thou art mindful of me. i seriously wonder what in the world i did to deserve this goodness, this grace, this love, this favor, the smile of god. the truth is i haven't done anything. i complain. i cry. i whine. i fall short, so short, of god's glory. and yet. here i am, in awe of his favor on my life. he has smiled on me in a big way. my heart is full and overjoyed. i am able to wake up everyday and do something i feel passionate about. i absolutely care about the job i'm doing because there are lives that matter attached to my actions. it's what i've always wanted. to do work that brings fulfillment.

god fulfills me but he has called me to do and be about his work. that requires action. and i'm thankful my action is something that can bring me income. i would say i'm at a loss for words, but you've clearly figured out that's not true. lol. i have many words. but the most accurate, and probably the least descriptive is simply - god has smiled on me. i hope to honor him in this venture. i hope to bring glory to his name. i hope to give voice to his babies who go ignored and neglected and remain invisible to society.

i grew up feeling invisible, inconsequential. now i am empowered to give voice to those like me. i feel ... wow. god has smiled on me. and the beauty of it all is my friends - my sisters in life - have been along for the ride. they have carried me and cried with me and prayed with me and for me. they have provided strength and a listening ear and direction, and even chastisement when i got sideways! again, how in the world did i get to a place where i deserved such treasures? i have iron to sharpen my iron in so many ways. god has smiled on me.

you may never fully understand the emotion of my heart right now but i do hope that you understand what summer understand all those years back, and i now understand - god has smiled on me and that's no small thing!