withdrawals

anything you are addicted to will cause withdrawals once you cut it off. anything. i remember my freshman year in college. i managed to get addicted to animal crackers. i ate them all the time. and then it was gummy bears. i couldn't get enough of them. somewhere along the line i discovered pull and peel twizzlers and i'm not sure there's anything better in the gummy world.

genetically, i'm pretty sure i have addictive tendencies. when i like something, it's intense and extreme. sometimes it's abusive. i really didn't need to eat animal crackers for every meal! the freshman 15+ i gained can't be blamed solely on the animal cracker addiction but i'm sure it didn't help!

i come from a family of addicts. it's not something i talk about often because it's kind of a downer (no pun intended). it makes me conscious of my behavior a lot. especially when i discover maybe i'm displaying a little extra in the obsession area. i'm not stalker crazy so don't go getting dramatical on me. i just recognize that some things need to be avoided altogether just in case. and other things need to be done in strict moderation. in life in general, i leave very little room for era. even when i'm taking risks, i take managed risks. i'm not a silly girl.

the reason i'm blogging about this is because i'm pretty sure i'm going through withdrawal right now. i find myself wanting, hell craving it. i WANT it. HIM. i want him. i knew it the first night we meet. and that makes me feel some kind of way. the thing about withdrawal though is eventually you get it out of your system. i'm not sure that's going to prove true but i guess i'll find out. until then, i'll suffer through these withdrawals.