why why why? today was such a great day, i mean awesome, so why did i have to hear those words and it haunt me into the early hours of the morning? sigh.
today, i got a compliment from the jerk that yelled at me in a meeting just last week. he applauded my creativity and gave complete buy in to my project idea. it made me happy. it made the day awesome.
then i met up with my friend to work on a project and we had dinner and chopped it up like we usually do. she's moving and i'll miss her greatly! but there was that one conversation that made the wheels in my mind spin and completely changed my head space.
the entire way home i thought about those words and what they could mean. i have a tendency to let the creative part of my brain take over sometimes so let's just say my imagination lost its mind. the thoughts and likely conversations that formed had me distraught. i realize it's all in my mind, there is no way to know what will actually happen, but i managed to develop some scenarios none the less. and they aren't pretty.
dang. not sure how i'm going to sleep. or not think about it. i have so much to get done this weekend and plenty - more than plenty - to keep me busy this weekend. and yet, my mind is on the fact that i heard those words and it changed everything. do i actually matter? at all? how much? will it ever mean anything? ugh. i'd scream if i knew it would help. need to get my head space back right. and on that note, goodnight.
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