i am terrible at navigating girl culture when it comes to boys. i flirt just fine. i dislike the giggly, googly eyed, gushy stuff that comes with crushing though. never got into that. imagine my surprise as i find myself falling for someone and feeling those exact things!
it's not fair really. i've managed to go my entire life without fawning foolishly over someone. sure i've had love interests and even fallen for someone before but i never acted like a school girl. so what is it about this man that has me acting out the school girl crush phase that i triumphantly avoided when i was a school girl?
to my credit i'm not going around writing my first name with his last name. i don't write both of our names inside a lop-sided heart. i'm definitely not planning out our futures and naming our children. that's exactly the kind of disturbed thing i couldn't roll with when i was younger. i do find myself smiling when i think about him. i've been listening to sappy love songs that i always ignored before. i even wrote a few short stories about us. seriously? i would totally make fun of me if it weren't me!
again i say it's not fair. my teenage niece told me i was crushing on him. i tried to explain to her that grown folk don't crush and i most certainly don't crush. she laughed at me and said, "oh auntie, you're definitely crushing on him!" she then proceeded to sing the sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g song. it's not that level trust me. but i can admit with complete assurance that i'm falling for him and i'm okay with that.
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