what makes me so special

i think i stress how much i hate dating on a semi regular basis just to make sure people understand how awful i find dating. then i decided to change my language because if i know nothing else, i know our words are powerful and they bring life or death. to say i hate dating means i expect death. i now say i'm enjoying dating. well, that's probably a stretch. i'm enjoying getting to know people. that's more accurate.

getting to know someone means finding all the ways in which they are special and discovering all the areas they aren't. it means learning to be okay with those not so pleasant areas if you find yourself captivated by the good. let's face it. no one is perfect. as much as we try, we kind of suck sometimes.

i'm in the process of getting to know someone. for all intents and purposes he seemed promising. i was looking forward to getting to know what makes him special. my annoyance came in when he didn't seem to enjoy the thrill of discovery as much as me. honestly, he just seemed ready to get me in bed. i ain't never been that type. so this was a huge let down.

so i flipped the script on him and asked what made me so special that he wanted to get to know me that way. his answer was -- i cringe even now just thinking about it -- another let down. he likes what i presented. but don't we all tend to put our best foot forward when getting to know someone? shouldn't you be interested in digging beyond the surface to discover what a person's true character is?

we're all icebergs. the majority of our mass is hidden beneath the surface. the ultra cool parts, the truly ugly parts, the succulent sweet parts and the face-squenching bitter parts all lie beneath the surface. waiting to be explored. waiting to be discovered. i wanted him to be interested in discovering my character before he was interested in exploring my body.

the truly sad part was the comment that my belief in valuing myself as a gift worthy of cherishing somehow meant i was both unrealistic and unable to enjoy life. he is flawed in his thinking. my extremely full and active and joyous life is witness to my total enjoyment of all life has to offer.

they say the average couple has sex after only 3 dates. i'm not average. i'm exceptional. and i'm not alone. the only difference between other women and me is i know i'm exceptional. maybe no one has told them yet. i would like to be the one that tells you - yes you! you are indeed exceptional, valuable, beautiful, worthy to be cherished, special. let the next man that enters your life spend time discovering your character before he explores your body. he just might be the last man to get a first kiss from you. now wouldn't that be special!