almost doesn't count

have you ever been close to something and it didn't work out? you were so close you could taste it and then poof, it's gone. you almost had it. but sadly, almost doesn't count.

i'm not waxing poetic or anything. just listening to pandora and brandy's almost doesn't count came on. i am a huge fan of brandy's because i think her songs have depth that most pop stars don't. really, how true is it that we often get close to having the things we desired only to see them slip through the cracks?

i've experienced that a few times this year. it's hard to accept because it can be pretty devastating to see your dream fading away. sometimes it's just cruel. why didn't it work out? what did i do wrong? why wasn't i deserving? that's the self-centeredness in us that makes it all about us. sometimes things don't work out because they just don't! maybe it's you. maybe it's someone else. maybe it's a fluke. maybe it's destiny. there isn't a real way to know so why bother trying to figure it out?

the nurse practitioner at my doctor's office and i had a great conversation this morning. we talked about love and life and life with your love. she told me about a billboard she once saw in montana. it said, when god closes one door he opens another but it's still hell in the hallway. how true that is.

right now i'm in the hallway. i almost made it into that open door but it closed. for whatever reason, i didn't make it in. but there is another door waiting to be opened. when it does, best believe i'm barreling in! i can accept that almost doesn't count so next time, i'll be in like flynn.