i have to be honest. it bothers me. more than i care to admit. more than i am willing to face on many days. more than i ever voice. and yet it is a beast of my own making and ultimately my own choosing.
i'm working it out in my mind, the place that really houses my emotions, so i can move on. because i felt that way once doesn't mean i have to feel that way forever. try telling that to my brain. but it does get better. and one day it won't bother me anymore. one day, it will be a distant memory and all that i once cherished and loved will be overshadowed by something better.
it's hard telling yourself to move on because better is coming when better has never presented itself. or, rather, in comparison, it doesn't feel much better. in a few weeks i'll be free to explore and honestly i don't know how to feel about that either. i'm excited about the possibilities but nervous about the unknown. what will the future bring? i have no clue. i know what my expectations are. as of right now, all i know is i'm trying not to let it bother me anymore.
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